This is the last time, I give up this heart of mine.
I must admit, I did hurt for sometime. I'm not over it totally, even though I tell people I am. I know it's wrong to lie about these sort of things, but as long as nobody else knows that its a lie, it's not hurting anyone really. Well is it hurting me? In some strange way it's not, but what can I say? I don't mind lying to myself really, it just dulls the pain. And as I read over this blog, I realise it's been pretty much devoted to you, and when I die, if I still know you, I'm going to show you this blog. So you understand why I did what I did. And yeah you may think I'm wierd and pathetic. But it's my blog, it's my life.
I'm not being told what to do by anybody. I'm my own person. It's my desicion to write about you. I'm not breaking any laws am I?
It is pretty sad that I have nothing better to write about than you. I can't believe I'm wasting my typing time, writing about someone who did those things to me. I suppose I want people to see my pain. I want others to know how I feel. Because I would never dream of telling anyone about my true feelings, so in a way, your like my best friend. The person I can tell everything, without shame. I'm alone in this world. I'm not bothered, because I only need me, this laptop and music to get me through.
I don't need him, or any other boy to make me complete. I'm already that, I'm already whole. I must say, this blog is rather good, not meaning to blow my own horn, but I'm proud of myself.
I don't need to write this blog anymore. It was only to admit things, and now I have nothing to admit, so what is there left to do? It's time to say goodbye, it's not forever. Just for now. Thanks for keeping my sane, these past few months. Thanks for listening to all my whines and moans. Thanks for understanding what it's like to be me. And thanks to all those who have been reading this blog, those who have been with me. Those who have given encouraging comments. You've all helped me be someone I am proud to be, someone I am proud to call myself.
And now it's time to stop this rambling, because that's what it is. That's what my whole life is about. One big ramble. I'll be back some day, to tell you whats been happening and where I am now.
So this is my final blog, for the time being. Keep writing all of you, never give up.
"If your chasing something, you never give up, until you've caught it"
S.
