The Girl Who Said No To Normal

It's like I'm used to it
What with friends like mine, I'm basically invisible
Finishing second, not so bad
But when it's a constant thing

It's like my feelings don't matter, but then again how are they meant to know? Another sad pathetic post based on how boys are effecting my life, but it's hard.

It's hard to see every boy I have feelings for, toss me aside, for one of my best friends. And I become the friend, the girl who makes them laugh. Always the friend, nothing more. Is it too much to ask to be noticed? What does a girl have to do to be acknowledged nowadays?

But the thing is, when I saw you last night, in your funny I Heart NY top and your beautiful eyes, pursed lips which beg for me to kiss them. Your brown hair which I long to run my fingers through and think, wow this is actually happening.

And you hugged my friend, then me. But you hugged me for so much longer and I felt good in your arms, then again you could have been thinking how long is she going to hug me for?

I think I like you.

Fuck.

The way you spoke, it made me think that you cared. Like all those questions were a code for 'I love you, but you can never know' After living my life, I've realised that fairy tales are fake, dreams will always be just that, and the only miracles happen in Disney Films. I'm almost used to feeling like this, it's kind of like I'm expecting things to fuck up, and in a way, it's all down to you. No correction, it's all your fault I'm like this.

Then again you never knew how badly I would take this, and how damn hard it is to move on. And it dosen't help the fact that you took me back once before. Your happy with her, and that's what I said about your last game, oops I mean girlfriend. Look what happened there.

Maybe your mum never taught you to consider other peoples feelings. Maybe one day you'll be treated like this, and I fucking hope you do. Because what everyone who reads these things have probably realised that every fucking blog is revolved around you! Your a waste of imaginary paper, of invisible oxygen.

And a waste of my time.